Tuesday, 3 September 2013

A Modern Day Serendipity

I sometimes find that someone from my past just pops into my head totally randomly; an ex, someone you met at a festival or on a night out, an old school friend. 

Today, exactly that happened. So, I looked her up… (It’s an old school friend by the way!). Now I've not seen or spoken to this girl in about 8 years, but I came across something quite unusual.

Franny Cat, as she now seems to be known, is on a mission. A mission that is undoubtedly, going to divide opinion.

You’ve seen Serendipity right?

Well, if not, here’s a long story short:

Boy meets girl
Boy and girl fall in love at first sight and spend the most amazing day together
Girl has some wild fantastical view that “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be”
Girl writes her number in a book and sells it to a second hand book dealer
Many years later, boy finds book
Calls girl
Boy and girl fall in love again and live happily ever after.


In truth, it’s not true Serendipity at all, because Boy actually spends all the years in the middle going into every single bookstore he walks past and searching Amazon and eBay to find the copy of this book.

True Serendipity would have meant he’d have found the book lying in the street, or someone gave him a copy for Christmas not having a clue of the story.

ANYWAY, beside the point.

Franny Cat is embroiled in a modern day Serendipity. See the video below:

(Can't embed it at the moment, so a link will have to do) 

I can’t quite believe I found this and I’ve been excited about writing this blog all day.

The comments are interesting, as loads of people have, of course, told Franny she’s NUTS and that whoever Alex is, he is going to FREAK THE F*CK OUT.
However, this might not be the case at all. He might be just as NUTS and looking for Franny.

Either way, I think this much effort deserves an answer at least right?!

This got me thinking though. What if this had been the other way round? What if Alex had been trying to find Franny?

I doubt there would have been ANY comments saying he was nuts, in fact, it probably would have been deemed the most romantic thing anyone had ever witnessed. And I’d be calling this blog “A Modern Day Cinderella” , because I would bet that a lot of girls would be coming forward to say that the shoe fit and they were, indeed, Franny.

So, what do you think? Romantic or crazy?

As I said, I think she deserves an answer either way and I, for one, am intrigued to see if they find each other. Fingers crossed!

You can help out by:

Instagramming a picture of you doing the below, hashtag #findingalex to @findingalexdoc

Follow on Twitter: @findingalexdoc


Monday, 19 August 2013

It's As Addictive As Crack Cocaine...

Seriously... What is it about internet dating?

I’ve not been single for that long, but on a lazy Sunday night I found myself logging on to POF and joining up barely even noticing what I was doing. It was only when I received a message from a relatively revolting looking specimen I realised what I’d done.

“I will use it to start re-writing my blog” I said to myself.

It was within the first 24 hours I’d received a message asking why I’d re-joined (I mentioned this in my profile) as he had done the same, describing it as a heroin-like need.

From then on, I noticed more and more profiles...
“I’ve rejoined after...”
“Not been on for a while but thought I’d see what was going on”

And the worst... And most desperate

“I’m just giving this ONE MORE GO, PLEASE”

What is it about internet dating that is so, completely, addictive?

1) There’s always something going on... 
Remember the days you procrastinated on Facebook constantly refreshing the page just HOPING something interesting was going to happen? Well, don’t need to worry about that on internet dating, with hundreds of thousands of members and new people joining every minute, there’s always someone new to message/stalk/objectify!

2) The constant Confidence Boost... 
People viewing your profile, responding to your messages and sending you messages first, it’s like constant self assurance that someone does find you attractive... and what’s better than that.
Though, saying this, it could be argued that a large number of these people look like they’ve been dragged up from the bottom of the ocean

3) The Sheer HOPE... 
Come on, it went so badly the last time (36 times), that it HAS to go my way soon right... RIGHT?!?!?!?!

4) The Excitement Of It All... 
Whatever you’re looking for, there’s still a little twinge of excitement when you first start messaging someone that could go your way, it’s a nice feeling.

5) Intrigue... Curiosity Killed The Cat After All
If you’ve met people before, it’s likely you will meet people again and if you have been away from it all a while, you genuinely do want to see who (or “what” in some cases) is out there.

So... What will happen this time? I’m not taking it anywhere near as seriously as last time. 

Friends (Lydia in particular), I promise you, you will not hear the words “Love of my life” until I’ve met them AT LEAST ten times, no, five times, OK OK, TWICE!

I am tempted to use it as a social experiment, like the blog 40 Days of Dating. Where do the most eligible men come from? DO you have to pay to get the decent guys or are they just a needle in a haystick... 

Or a diamond in amidst a shed load of needles more to the point.


Friday, 1 June 2012

Who Wears Short Shorts?

Teenagers... That's who!

I can't tell if my hatred for anyone under the age of 20 is genuine or whether it is bitter envy. Most would argue it's the latter, but actually, when I see a 17 year olds butt cheeks hanging out of a pair of shorts while she struggles to walk in her 9 inch heels and witters to her friends about whether the bouncer will believe that her cousin's ID is her own... I feel it is genuine hate.

Call me old fashioned, but this "who wears short shorts" extravaganza that has filled the UK streets over the last couple of years has given me the urge to march various children home and have a stern word with their parents.

I recently experienced the worst case of this I'd ever seen on a train from Ilkley to Leeds.
With a booth of a beer soaked ruffians sitting close by, I waited patiently for the exclaims of


But they didn't come, in fact, a shout of


Came ringing through the carriage.

I couldn't believe it to be honest and this barely legal girl seemed slightly shocked as well. It was obvious these boys, who can't have been far past their 18th birthdays, had absolutely no respect for this girl or anyone else who dressed like her.

It's girls like this, with their orange skin and pale pink lips (usually drawn a lot bigger than their real lips)... With their bird nest hair and glued on eyelashes who moan they can't find a decent man... Or that when they were out, a 60 year old man tried to grab their barely covered skin.


I'm all for skimpy outfits mid summer in the park, but past 7 o clock, whether it's December or August, there is never an excuse to have more skin revealed than you have covered. No matter of your shape or size and even if it's for the sake of not spreading the common cold.

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Quit Playing Games with my Heart/Brain and any other Part of my Body you Seem to be Getting at!

I realise I haven’t written in a while… I guess it has been a combination of total writer’s block (who knew that just wasn’t an excuse?!) and trying to redecorate a bedroom and sort out 25 years of accumulated rubbish and actually getting myself a social life… Well done me!

Anyway… To the point…

I am a serial internet dater, I thought I’d dated quite a lot of guys before I met my last boyfriend, but since breaking up with him last June I’ve managed to nearly double the number in less than a year.
When I say this, I am certainly not referring to notches on my bed post, simply guys (from the internet) I have met up with and been on a date, or sometimes more, with.

But wow, this internet dating is not easy. It’s tiring, draining and is sometimes just shrouded in a cloud of mind games.

“Really?!” I hear you ask with a doubtful look on your face!
If you are one of my friends, my work colleagues or an internet dater yourself, you will believe me and here’s one reason why. Here's one reason (more to follow in some other blogs!)

The Game Playing

I’ve never been good at this. I mean in all honestly, I think anyone over the age of 22 shouldn’t really be doing the whole Mind Fuck thing anyway, but even when I was 15 and meant to be playing it cool… Oh and be awesome at it. I still wasn’t. If I liked a guy, I told him… My friends thought I was utterly insane, but… but… YOU CAN’T TELL HIM…

Why not?!


Why not?!

If I tell him and he likes me, GREAT! We can then get on with things like normal people…
If I tell him and he doesn’t like me, I’m not going to spend the next 3 weeks/months/years of my life trying to analyse every text message, seemingly flirty touches or that time he got pissed one night and I’m sure he tried to kiss me…..

This might be for some, but not me… I will save myself the mental anguish thank you!
You think the game playing wouldn’t be there with internet dating. You are both on the site to meet someone (most of the time), to be in a relationship (a lot of the time) and be happy. That’s simple enough right?


The game playing comes when you least expect it... Here is a short story and prime example:

I was dating a guy at the beginning of the year. I really liked him, like *REALLY* liked him, not one of my;

 “no, but seriously Lyds/Liane/Becky/Gemma/Sarah/Lis/

I spent a week in London with my best friend Tamsin and during this time, me and him texted, a lot, constantly some would say.. I even asked if he was bored of me and he said “No, keep texting”… I rang him AND HE RANG ME (which in all honesty, boys are never all that good at)

We were in touch all the time, but I’m not one to assume it’s all going to be perfect when we meet. Don’t get me wrong, I get ahead of myself sometimes, but as I’ve experienced this more and more, I know to at least refrain from SQUEALING LIKE AN EXCITABLE PIG until the first date is over. (And successful)

Tamsin and I decided to de-tour to Liverpool on our way back from London to meet this prospective man (and also hers) and see if he was as awesome as he sounded. I was PETRIFIED… It wasn’t the usual date, I was out with my friends, he was out with his (Turns out it’s a pretty good way to meet as the pressure isn’t there).

He arrived. First thing he did was slap my friend Steven’s arse – Good lad. Straight away, it was like we’d been together for months and it was an awesome night, we laughed, we chatted, we got to know each other and then carried on partying with our friends and left it there.

The rest of the weekend was amazing and a bit of a blur. The next night we (Tamsin and I again…) out for his birthday in Leeds. His sister was there, his cousins were there and all of his best friends.  I expected I was going to be largely ignored and I didn’t particularly mind. Half arsed introductions to maybe some of his “acquaintances” rather than friends.


He spent the whole evening making such an effort, introduced me (properly) to everyone, including sister and family members, spent loads of time with me and generally had an amazing night… The party moved back to his house where everyone found a square foot of floor to sleep on (at about 5am) and went to bed.

I had to leave very early the next morning and was under strict instructions to return back to his house IMMEDIATELY after I had taken Tammy home.

I did, was there until about 11pm before finally venturing home on a Sunday night.
That week in London and weekend were the best I have had in a long long time. Spending quality time with my best friend, her sisters and some lovely new people and thinking everything was just too good to be true with this amazing boy and HIS family and friends.

THIS… is when the game playing started.. What.The.Hell?!

Some might say “Yeah, but Emma, you’d given him what he wanted” (I’m sure you know what I mean) But I hadn’t.

All of a sudden, I was waiting hours for a response to a text and they were much shorter and to the point… I’m not stupid though, I may take wishful thinking too far sometimes, but I know when a guy’s not interested!

But he was… (Apparently)

I carried on texting as we were before, you know… Actually replying

= Mental and Needy

I did see him once the following week, but also asked if he wanted to meet up 3 days after that (after spending an entire weekend with him the week before, I figured this wasn't too much)

= Mental and Needy

I said nice and positive things to him

= Mental and Needy

Ok… so the long and short of it was probably...

But then again, I’m not so sure. I am sure his best (female) friend had something to do with it and I am sure that the tiny tiny man inside of a lot of men’s heads was telling him it was time to freak out because stuff seemed too good.

Who knows? Who will EVER know?

I should probably watch that film, but I refuse… As it will be an upsetting look at reality rather than PS I Love You. 

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

For the Lads... The Don'ts and Dont's of Internet Dating

I’ve been on 3 different dating sites in my life:

Match.com (High end)

Datingdirect.com (Was middle of the road until match.com bought it and amalgamated the two, but kept both brands)

Plentyoffish.com (VERY low end, recently attempted to rebrand themselves as POF.com via TV advertising… Sadly, they’ve not rebranded the website, so that plan stopped there)

To be honest, I say POF is low end, but you get freaks, weirdos and men looking for sex on all of them, even if they do have to pay between £12.99 and £24.99 a month for the privilege. I sometimes wonder whether they’ve thought it through at all…

This leads me nicely onto my first point…

If you’re looking for sex, don’t go on a dating website!

There are some guys on the dating sites who will either quite blatantly message you, with the most CRINGEWORTHY messages of all time….

 No JJ... No I do not...

Alternatively, some sneaky guys will lure you in with some romancing chat, maybe even take you on a date… or two… Only to turn around and say you’re not the right girl for them and they have issues…

Join Adult Friend Finder if that’s what your after.
(Unless of course, the woman you are messaging is also looking for an “Intimate Encounter”)

AVOID the use of the following words and/or phrases:
  • Outgoing
  • Down to Earth
  • Easy Going

There is, quite literally, a handful of profiles I have come across that HAVEN’T said one, two or all of these things. They mean nothing, NOTHING... They are not impressive words.

Don’t go Out of Your League… (No Offence)

Please, Just DON’T use pet names in a first message, or second… Or even the first 10 for that matter.
Oh... and the use of bbz should be STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.

Don’t lie about your height … 
Unless you say your shorter than you really are and then that will be a pleasant surprise.

For the love of God… DON’T… put sex as one of your hobbies!!!!

SexiBoi2k and TooHotty4Totty are NOT going to get a reply

Rules on Profile Pictures

This is the bit I wish I could give example photos of, but being aware of the legal implications of stealing people’s photos, sadly I can’t!

To be honest, there’s a number of DONT'S around this…

DON’T use photos that were blatantly taken in an ex’s girlfriend bedroom

DON’T take pictures of yourself in your bedroom if your bedroom has train sets, toys, a single bed or any other horribly geeky things

DON’T use pictures of lesser known celebrities (in the UK) hoping people will believe they’re you… This is one I see a lot, this is a character called Silas, from a show called Weeds… (You, and I to be honest, WISH)

      DON’T put a picture of you with a small child as your main picture if you don’t have kids!! This is PARTICULARLY relevant if it’s the only picture on your profile. Girls will assume it’s yours and won’t even bother reading the bit which asks if you have kids

      Don’t put photos of you surfing/climbing/swimming very far away from the camera, especially if they are your only pics!

First messages (like first impressions) COUNT

This is one thing that winds me up the most. On paid for sites, you find people make more of an effort on this, but POF is just ridiculous…

DON’T send one word messages…

 “Hey”, “Hello” or “Hi” is just not good enough… you are not going to get a response, unless you are
1.  Super hot
2.  The girl your messaging has no more than 42 brain cells

DON’T send a message that you have just copied and pasted from a word document

Make sure your message is actually relevant to a girls profile…


As much as it’s nice to make note to parts of a girl’s profile to show you’ve read it, but DON’T reference EVERY sentence she’s written…

If a girl doesn’t reply… DON’T keep messaging her!

Learn to spell and use grammar correctly… (Please)

DON'T reference the website name in your messages (Cringe)

For the lads... I hope this has given a bit of insight on how to have Internet Dating success and for the others, I hope this has provided you with some light evening entertainment and an insight into what utter CHARMERS you can find on the World Wide Web. 

Monday, 5 March 2012

Dry Your Eyes Mate

Once upon a time, in a beautiful castle, far far away, there lived a Prince and a Princess who lived happily ever after…

A Princess, A Prince and Their Castle... Oh Disney

Uh-Uh (that’s the Family Fortunes noise right there)

What Disney don’t tell the 5 year olds, is the Prince and Princess had a horrible, miserable break up a couple of months after filming and it took days, months, years, getting over it and pulling themselves out of this utter heartbreak.

Wait ‘til you see 500 Days of Summer kids! 

"This is not a love story. This is story about love"

500 Days of Summer.. Even my girl crush on Zooey Deschanel didn't stop me hating her!

Whether you’re a man, woman or other, gay, straight or other… Nothing will stop your eyes welling up with tears when a certain song comes on the radio, or you’re throwing stuff out and come across an old card or letter… Nothing will stop the feeling that your heart is going to break out of your chest when you think you’ve just seen them standing at the other side of a bar.

The thing that still affects me most is certain smells, it’s probably the same for a lot of people. Scent is one of the most powerful senses, which I don’t think people always realise.

I had a horrible relationship not so long ago (When I get round to that it will probably have parts 1-10) and some months later, I thought I had got over it… I was happy, I was constantly surrounded by amazing friends, I had an ENORMOUS crush on a guy that I spent a lot of time with and I was generally relatively content, he had stopped crossing my mind every 30 seconds, I could get angry rather than upset…

Until I was walking through the restaurant I worked in… balancing 3 plates in my hands and a man walked past me wearing his aftershave… Avoiding ruining their food with my salty tears and weeping onto my customers, I went to the table, shoved the plates down as fast as my hands would allow, quick stepped back to the kitchen and melted into a flood of tears.

It was bizarre… This scent had totally washed over my whole body… Reminded me of everything and it was just too much to handle.

However much a person tries to hide it, I believe everyone has these feelings and it is horrific. When you watch a friend cry over a girl or guy, you can never quite relate, your brain – the clever thing - helps you forget those feelings as fast as possible. Unless you really make yourself and let yourself remember, you can never quite empathise (unless, you too, have gone through a break up recently).

But how do these feelings affect men and women?

When you’re young, in your teen years… You look at the exterior…

You see a girl cry every day for 6 months and the boy just get on with it, like nothing has happened (for the most part). You assume she will never be the same and he’s already over it.

In my older years, I realised this was really the opposite of what was going on. During that “grieving” period (I realise this is an extreme word to use)… The girl is letting all those emotions go and once she’s come out of it, of course, some feelings will still be there, but she will have, in part, “Got over it”

What happens to a boy, or man, seems to be a lot more complex… You only realise this when you’re older though and you can actually crack through the exterior.

Why are so many men “content” with no strings attached relationships?

I was chatting to yet another guy on POF, only for the pretty hilarious and friendly conversation we’d been having, ended with “So are you up for it? Banter and fondling, but no emotions ok?” … I decided to question why he felt like that. I could be the love of his life and he wasn’t even willing to consider it.

His answer came, as suspected:

“I don’t know, scared I guess, don’t want to get hurt”

This sealed it in my head.

Men are affected far worse from break ups than women.

They bottle up their feelings, mainly because of pride. There might be the occasional person that sees them, a female friend, a best mate, a parent, but the rest of the time, the advice they get goes about as deep as “Let’s go shag a load of fit birds”…

It’s like they get revenge on that one girl by breaking the hearts of many others.

My advice to this guy went as follows:

Man the f*ck up...

You have two choices... You either dwell on it, let it affect you for the next however long, have meaningless sex with girls and probably break a few hearts just to get revenge on someone else...
OR... you spent a weekend wrapped up in your duvet watching PS I love you and other such shit, let yourself cry, eat junk food and drink some beer... Then pull yourself up and move on! 
That feeling when you see her will never go away... But it will fade...

Let it go

If guys could talk to their mates (and I don't just mean those select few, I mean all of them) without fear of being called a pussy and not get embarrassed or their pride hurt, the world would probably be a better place. 

The reason I gave this blog the title Dry Your Eyes Mate is because I have the utmost respect for Mike Skinner to write such a frank and honest song about what a man goes through after a break up. Especially when he's such a "lad". 

Going Leaps & Bounds Towards... Well... A Man Shaped Hole in Your Door

I realise this is my second blog of the evening… But I had people nagging me for part 2 left, right and centre, but I couldn’t possibly miss out writing about a day such as today.

Usually, I would be falling over myself deciding which boy I should “Jokingly” ask to marry me… Sorry, that should say “Half Jokingly”.
As well as messaging any guy I was romantically involved with, in order to propose, I would be texting all my male friends to ask for their hand in marriage as well as posting on Facebook and who knows, I’d probably end up getting down on one knee in the middle of the office in front of some complete stranger that caught my eye.

This year though, I haven’t done anything, well, apart from a witty status update which has been totally ignored…

I guess I must be growing up.

I don’t really understand the tradition to be honest… I mean, I’m all for going dutch on a date and don't get me wrong, I'm all for women's rights etc. etc. etc. But there are some things that should just be left to the man. Any woman who has to resort to waiting for a day that arrives every 4 years… needs to find a new man in my opinion.
I don't know about anyone else, but any males I know would find it totally emasculating...

Where's the excitement?
Where's the surprise?
Well.. there isn't any!
No fooling your partner by jetting him off to Paris on the 28th February, or insisting that the 29th is the perfect date to go and visit the park you first met in or the restaurant you went to on your first date.

Whilst some 32 year olds will use the leap year to celebrate their 8th birthday and some will just be looking forwards to the Olympics… If we are being totally honest with ourselves ladies, there are some men out there who will cower under their desks every 29th February, chomping on their nails waiting for the clock to strike 12.01.

Safe for another 4 years now lads!