Who Wears Short Shorts?

Teenagers... That's who!

I can't tell if my hatred for anyone under the age of 20 is genuine or whether it is bitter envy. Most would argue it's the latter, but actually, when I see a 17 year olds butt cheeks hanging out of a pair of shorts while she struggles to walk in her 9 inch heels and witters to her friends about whether the bouncer will believe that her cousin's ID is her own... I feel it is genuine hate.

Call me old fashioned, but this "who wears short shorts" extravaganza that has filled the UK streets over the last couple of years has given me the urge to march various children home and have a stern word with their parents.

I recently experienced the worst case of this I'd ever seen on a train from Ilkley to Leeds.
With a booth of a beer soaked ruffians sitting close by, I waited patiently for the exclaims of

OH MY GOD... SHE IS WELL FIT!!!!!

But they didn't come, in fact, a shout of

GET YOUR ASS OUT, OH NO WAIT, YOU ALREADY HAVE

Came ringing through the carriage.

I couldn't believe it to be honest and this barely legal girl seemed slightly shocked as well. It was obvious these boys, who can't have been far past their 18th birthdays, had absolutely no respect for this girl or anyone else who dressed like her.

It's girls like this, with their orange skin and pale pink lips (usually drawn a lot bigger than their real lips)... With their bird nest hair and glued on eyelashes who moan they can't find a decent man... Or that when they were out, a 60 year old man tried to grab their barely covered skin.

PUT IT AWAY THEN

I'm all for skimpy outfits mid summer in the park, but past 7 o clock, whether it's December or August, there is never an excuse to have more skin revealed than you have covered. No matter of your shape or size and even if it's for the sake of not spreading the common cold.